Show 'em that you love 'em!

Often parents will tell me that they are concerned about scaring their children by talking to them about predators, getting lost and other related topics. I support their concerns as a mom but I also know that these are important topics to talk about with your kids.
So, some things that I have found that work when talking about getting lost that won’t freak out your children:

1. Tell your child that you don’t want them to get lost because they can get hurt and that mommy/daddy will be very worried. They don’t need to know why but rather that it will impact you. Try to relate it to a time that they didn’t know where you were and how they felt.

2. Teach them what to do if they get lost. This includes finding another mommy and asking for help. Practice this when you go out - play the “find another mommy game” in the supermarket or other places you go. See how many mommies your child can find and ask your child how they know that the other person is a mommy.

3. Put identification on your child and tell them they can show it to another mommy if your child needs help. You can also role play this with them. However, even if they can’t remember to show it proactively to the other mom, with the ID on them, they are well positioned to get help from that mom.

4 Remind your child to stay close to you when you go into a public place. When you come out, tell them what a great job they did. Use this positive reinforcement to let them know what the expected “good” behavior is that makes you happy when they do it.

Interestingly, with these kinds of small efforts, your child will actually appreciate your guidance. They will know that they are safer and that you care about them so much to keep them safe. Like any boundary with kids, if drawn well and taught with love, it gives them the confidence to grow and explore knowing they have a safe and supportive world around them.

My 7 year old recently asked me for his ID tag while we were in a small store where I could see him no matter where he was. When I asked him why he wanted the tag, he answered, “Mom, it just makes me feel better in case I need it.” I am still amazed by how a $4 tag was like a lifeline for my son even if he never actually needed it. Perhaps like a blankie, a thumb or a favorite toy, if we can provide comfort and safety to our children at the same time, why wouldn’t we?