Its been a very busy month responding to media requests for information on lost child prevention. While there is far from enough information out there on prevention, we are happy to see that people are starting to realize that there are some really simple things that can be done to at least reduce the frequency and duration of every day lost child situations.
One of those things is actually fun for both adults and kids is the free online story we created called, "When Whizzly Wanders". Adapted form the soft cover book produced by Wander Wear, the online version is animated to keep kids engaged and learning with pleasure.
Please check it out and let other families know about it. Its totally free and doesn't even require you to register to watch. Its our gift to you to recognize Missing Child Month and to help keep all kids safe in public places.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Grown ups need to brighten up too!
I recently got a suggestion from a thoughtful father that grown ups should also wear bright colors in crowded places to help their own kids see them. He felt that in a crowd, little kids will see adults only from the waist down, it would be helpful to have the caregiver wear bright colored pants or something on their legs like a bandanna or ribbon that a child could see if the child was lost.
I do think this is a good idea and I would encourage it as long as parents also heed teh other Away From Home Tips. An adult wearing bright color clothes could help a small child keep an eye on their caregiver, however, a lost child often panics and won't remember to even look or remember what the caregiver is wearing. In addition, in a crowded place, where there are lots of legs to look at, its really important that in addition to visual clues like the clothes, kids are given a cell phone number to proactively contact the "lost" parent.
The reason I didn't include this good idea in the Away from Home Tips is that we try to suggest things that are practical and reasonable for every family to do. Wearing bright colored pants isn't hard but may not be practical in many circumstances for many people. So, please go for it if you can. But please be sure to at least do the following: give kids safe ID, all caregivers should carry a recent photo of the child, and dress the child in bright green or yellow.
I do think this is a good idea and I would encourage it as long as parents also heed teh other Away From Home Tips. An adult wearing bright color clothes could help a small child keep an eye on their caregiver, however, a lost child often panics and won't remember to even look or remember what the caregiver is wearing. In addition, in a crowded place, where there are lots of legs to look at, its really important that in addition to visual clues like the clothes, kids are given a cell phone number to proactively contact the "lost" parent.
The reason I didn't include this good idea in the Away from Home Tips is that we try to suggest things that are practical and reasonable for every family to do. Wearing bright colored pants isn't hard but may not be practical in many circumstances for many people. So, please go for it if you can. But please be sure to at least do the following: give kids safe ID, all caregivers should carry a recent photo of the child, and dress the child in bright green or yellow.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Missing the Point
The words "lost" and "missing" are quite ambiguous when they pertain to children. "Lost" can mean being in an unknown place, a child who has died, or simply one that is confused. "Missing" can mean also being in an unknown place but it implies that there is a malicious reason why a child is gone, versus being innocently lost.
Children go"missing" for numerous reasons - they run away, they are abducted, or they get hurt (accidentally or otherwise) and can't get back to where they are expected to be due to the injury. Perhaps they have a broken leg or are in too much pain to move from where they are to where they should be.
Children get "lost" for a number of reasons as well. They can wander off led by their curiosity only realizing afterwards that they can't find their caregiver. Some kids think running away or hiding in a public place is funny and they will giggle while under a rack watching mom scream hysterically trying to find them. These situations are innocent and are often caused because we don't usually teach our kids that getting lost is a bad behavior - as much as crossing the street without looking or not washing after using the bathroom.
Older kids can find themselves lost in other ways. The first week of school every year generates dozens of stories of kids getting on or off the wrong school bus. It is quite common and the fact is that if the child gets off the bus in the wrong neighborhood, it is quite scary to both child and the parent. Just imagine standing there expecting your child to come off the bus and he/she doesn't. Its almost too scary to even think about. With all the newness of school and most likely a new bus route, it is a common situation, however. Even if the child notifies the bus driver before disembarking that they are not in the right place, the bus drivers often have no way of notifying a parent or other person until they complete their route.
Its also common that a child will be waiting to be picked up after an an activity like a music lesson or other individual class. There are all kinds of reasons why the child may be waiting longer than a few moments expecting the parent - traffic, car problems, or even because mom's watch stopped and she hasn't realized that it is actually an hour later. Meanwhile, the patient child is alone and in risk of all kinds of harm.
So with such ambiguity in the words themselves, it is no wonder parents don't always respond to the concept of lost child prevention. Not only might they be in denial that it could happen to them, but they rarely think about the numerous ways that their precious child might be separated from them accidentally and how easily they can put cell phone information on their children.
So do a good deed. explain this to another parent and tell them to be best prepared by reading our "Away from Home Safety Tips". Easier than putting a car seat belt on, keep your kids safe anytime they are away from home and might need to find you!
Children go"missing" for numerous reasons - they run away, they are abducted, or they get hurt (accidentally or otherwise) and can't get back to where they are expected to be due to the injury. Perhaps they have a broken leg or are in too much pain to move from where they are to where they should be.
Children get "lost" for a number of reasons as well. They can wander off led by their curiosity only realizing afterwards that they can't find their caregiver. Some kids think running away or hiding in a public place is funny and they will giggle while under a rack watching mom scream hysterically trying to find them. These situations are innocent and are often caused because we don't usually teach our kids that getting lost is a bad behavior - as much as crossing the street without looking or not washing after using the bathroom.
Older kids can find themselves lost in other ways. The first week of school every year generates dozens of stories of kids getting on or off the wrong school bus. It is quite common and the fact is that if the child gets off the bus in the wrong neighborhood, it is quite scary to both child and the parent. Just imagine standing there expecting your child to come off the bus and he/she doesn't. Its almost too scary to even think about. With all the newness of school and most likely a new bus route, it is a common situation, however. Even if the child notifies the bus driver before disembarking that they are not in the right place, the bus drivers often have no way of notifying a parent or other person until they complete their route.
Its also common that a child will be waiting to be picked up after an an activity like a music lesson or other individual class. There are all kinds of reasons why the child may be waiting longer than a few moments expecting the parent - traffic, car problems, or even because mom's watch stopped and she hasn't realized that it is actually an hour later. Meanwhile, the patient child is alone and in risk of all kinds of harm.
So with such ambiguity in the words themselves, it is no wonder parents don't always respond to the concept of lost child prevention. Not only might they be in denial that it could happen to them, but they rarely think about the numerous ways that their precious child might be separated from them accidentally and how easily they can put cell phone information on their children.
So do a good deed. explain this to another parent and tell them to be best prepared by reading our "Away from Home Safety Tips". Easier than putting a car seat belt on, keep your kids safe anytime they are away from home and might need to find you!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Prepared or paranoid parenting?
When you become a parent, you automatically become critical of other parents. Some you deem too lenient or lazy. Others you say are overprotective or paranoid. Of course, like Goldilocks, your parenting is "just right". But is it? No doubt, you've often questioned if you are being caring enough or too neurotic. Where is the real line? Is there one?
Definitely not. Apparently this is what makes a horse race...but when it comes to children's safety, is it better to be overly careful than neglectful? Perhaps yes. It is a good idea to know the potential dangers of SIDs, shaken baby syndrome, and other such medical circumstances and how to minimize them. We childproof our houses so our children are safe around stairs, ovens, and fireplaces. As they grow, we protect them from the Internet and strangers. No doubt, having access to information these days helps us be sometimes overly aware.
However, one of the areas that is not so well publicized is that of getting lost. Why? Because people don't want to admit it happens. Its embarrassing. It makes us feel irresponsible and out of the ordinary. You never want to admit losing your child to your spouse or heaven forbid your own mother! So we assume it doesn't happen and it can't and won't happen to us.
WRONG. Over 2000 kids get lost every day. 90% of families will experience it at least once. Chances are, if you haven't already, you will lose a child in a public place - in fact, its even more likely than getting a cold this year.
So ironically, its the responsible parent who is prepared and knows what to do to avoid a child getting lost - and then knows what to do when it does happen. Do you ever get in your car without putting on a seat belt? Do you expect to get into an accident? Certainly not...however, in the slight case that you will get into an accident, you prepare yourself and your kids and take that extra a second to put on the belt so you are prepared.
You can be as quickly prepared for when you go out in public places. Its not being paranoid, its being smart. Put safe ID on your kids and carry a recent photo...read through the Center's tips to find other easy ways to be a good parent.
Definitely not. Apparently this is what makes a horse race...but when it comes to children's safety, is it better to be overly careful than neglectful? Perhaps yes. It is a good idea to know the potential dangers of SIDs, shaken baby syndrome, and other such medical circumstances and how to minimize them. We childproof our houses so our children are safe around stairs, ovens, and fireplaces. As they grow, we protect them from the Internet and strangers. No doubt, having access to information these days helps us be sometimes overly aware.
However, one of the areas that is not so well publicized is that of getting lost. Why? Because people don't want to admit it happens. Its embarrassing. It makes us feel irresponsible and out of the ordinary. You never want to admit losing your child to your spouse or heaven forbid your own mother! So we assume it doesn't happen and it can't and won't happen to us.
WRONG. Over 2000 kids get lost every day. 90% of families will experience it at least once. Chances are, if you haven't already, you will lose a child in a public place - in fact, its even more likely than getting a cold this year.
So ironically, its the responsible parent who is prepared and knows what to do to avoid a child getting lost - and then knows what to do when it does happen. Do you ever get in your car without putting on a seat belt? Do you expect to get into an accident? Certainly not...however, in the slight case that you will get into an accident, you prepare yourself and your kids and take that extra a second to put on the belt so you are prepared.
You can be as quickly prepared for when you go out in public places. Its not being paranoid, its being smart. Put safe ID on your kids and carry a recent photo...read through the Center's tips to find other easy ways to be a good parent.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
From Lost to Lunatic
Speaking of stupid pet tricks (see previous post)...ever see a screaming, hysterical parent who has just found their lost child? The parent yells things like, "Don't you ever do that again", "Why can't you remember to stay near me?"!
While other parents look on in horror thinking to themselves, "What a shameful sight. I would NEVER do that!", we all know this scenario is all too common. Its the release of our anxiety from losing the child. Women and men do this and often they do it knowing it was probably their own fault for losing the child in the first place. Maybe a little displacement of guilt - ironic as they stand there being judged by their screaming which only let's their otherwise unsuspicious surrounding audience know that they had lost their child.
So while we stand and scorn, not only is the screaming parent making a fool of his/herself, but the poor child is being humiliated in public. As if this might not in itself cause major psychological trauma, the next time that child is accidentally lost (yes, most kids get lost more than once), the child will probably consider the consequences of being found - that is, being publicly humiliated again. Isn't it better to stay lost than to be found and have mom or dad scream at you again? I'd choose to stay lost.
Next time if this happens to you and you are about to unleash a whirlwind of verbal relief on your child, try to hold back. Remember screaming and displacing blame and anxiety isn't the answer - in fact, it could be the cause of a further negative consequence.
While other parents look on in horror thinking to themselves, "What a shameful sight. I would NEVER do that!", we all know this scenario is all too common. Its the release of our anxiety from losing the child. Women and men do this and often they do it knowing it was probably their own fault for losing the child in the first place. Maybe a little displacement of guilt - ironic as they stand there being judged by their screaming which only let's their otherwise unsuspicious surrounding audience know that they had lost their child.
So while we stand and scorn, not only is the screaming parent making a fool of his/herself, but the poor child is being humiliated in public. As if this might not in itself cause major psychological trauma, the next time that child is accidentally lost (yes, most kids get lost more than once), the child will probably consider the consequences of being found - that is, being publicly humiliated again. Isn't it better to stay lost than to be found and have mom or dad scream at you again? I'd choose to stay lost.
Next time if this happens to you and you are about to unleash a whirlwind of verbal relief on your child, try to hold back. Remember screaming and displacing blame and anxiety isn't the answer - in fact, it could be the cause of a further negative consequence.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Stupid Parent Tricks
If you think about it, there are so many things parents do that are counter intuitive and can actually harm their children. For example, telling a young child to remember a meeting spot in a big, foreign place. A lot of these practices are outdated and simply don’t make sense given that we now know better and have better tools to use. Another parenting myth is telling your kid never to talk with strangers. I wonder how many more kids will have to die hiding because rescue workers pass them by since the child is afraid to ask for help.
I invite you to read the article I published on “Don’t talk to strangers and other parenting myths” - I think it will open your eyes wide to things we learned to do as parents and never considered how silly they seem in this day and age. As always, feedback is welcomed!
I invite you to read the article I published on “Don’t talk to strangers and other parenting myths” - I think it will open your eyes wide to things we learned to do as parents and never considered how silly they seem in this day and age. As always, feedback is welcomed!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Safe Safety
Today I got a call from yet another company trying to address the lost child market. Like many others, this company intends well but didn’t think through some pretty significant issues which as a parent, make me very concerned.
So, when you are seeing safety products, particularly in the lost child area, please consider the following issues:
1. Is the product child-friendly?
No safety product is going to help if the child doesn’t use it. No matter how good the product is technically, if the child finds it ugly, uncomfortable, uncool, or just boring, it won’t work. The key to keeping kids safe is having their buy-in which includes giving them the knowledge and the right products to use.
2. Can the child use it?
Remember, that even a smart, confident child will panic when they are lost. Something like a bracelet or hidden label may be hard to operate and a child will most likely forget about it during a crisis. Plus, a stranger may not know to look for the information and you definitely don’t want them undressing your child to find it. Make sure the ID is really easy to spot and can be retrieved from the child without the child’s help or without the need to touch the child.
3. What happens if the product is lost?
Kids lose things all the time - me too! Child ID and location products are no different and they can fall off or break off. If that happens, it won’t help the child, but in fact, it can hurt the child. For example, if the product is a bracelet with home phone information, whoever finds it can reverse look up your address and track down the child - not good.
So consider what could happen if the product was lost and found by a bad stranger. Be sure you are comfortable with that implication. As I often tell people who are interested in Wander Wear, if some weirdo finds my son’s Parent Locator Tag and calls my cell phone repeatably, the worst case is that I can ignore/block the calls or change my cell phone number relatively easily. However, if I use my home phone or other information that helps someone find my house, that is not an acceptable risk.
4. No batteries required
Batteries or anything that requires a charge can fail. When your child is lost, you don’t want to worry whether there is enough power in the device. If you have trouble keeping your cell phone charged, consider if you can reliably charge yet another device and remember to take it with you every time you are out with the kids. The device can’t help find your kids if you are out and the device is no charged or accidentally left at home in its charging base.
5. Waterproof
At places like the Boston Children’s Museum in Boston and of course amusement parks, beaches, waterparks, and other such family venues, water, kids and electricity don’t mix well. Also be wary of any product like a sticker that will get destroyed when wet.
So, hopefully these are useful things to consider when selecting the appropriate safety products for your child. However, something is always better than nothing as long as it doesn’t replace your parental vigilance.
If you’d like more information about various products on the market, check out the audio and video seminars on CPLC's website. In those online formats, I discuss more specifically the pros and cons of the various available and future technologies and products.
So, when you are seeing safety products, particularly in the lost child area, please consider the following issues:
1. Is the product child-friendly?
No safety product is going to help if the child doesn’t use it. No matter how good the product is technically, if the child finds it ugly, uncomfortable, uncool, or just boring, it won’t work. The key to keeping kids safe is having their buy-in which includes giving them the knowledge and the right products to use.
2. Can the child use it?
Remember, that even a smart, confident child will panic when they are lost. Something like a bracelet or hidden label may be hard to operate and a child will most likely forget about it during a crisis. Plus, a stranger may not know to look for the information and you definitely don’t want them undressing your child to find it. Make sure the ID is really easy to spot and can be retrieved from the child without the child’s help or without the need to touch the child.
3. What happens if the product is lost?
Kids lose things all the time - me too! Child ID and location products are no different and they can fall off or break off. If that happens, it won’t help the child, but in fact, it can hurt the child. For example, if the product is a bracelet with home phone information, whoever finds it can reverse look up your address and track down the child - not good.
So consider what could happen if the product was lost and found by a bad stranger. Be sure you are comfortable with that implication. As I often tell people who are interested in Wander Wear, if some weirdo finds my son’s Parent Locator Tag and calls my cell phone repeatably, the worst case is that I can ignore/block the calls or change my cell phone number relatively easily. However, if I use my home phone or other information that helps someone find my house, that is not an acceptable risk.
4. No batteries required
Batteries or anything that requires a charge can fail. When your child is lost, you don’t want to worry whether there is enough power in the device. If you have trouble keeping your cell phone charged, consider if you can reliably charge yet another device and remember to take it with you every time you are out with the kids. The device can’t help find your kids if you are out and the device is no charged or accidentally left at home in its charging base.
5. Waterproof
At places like the Boston Children’s Museum in Boston and of course amusement parks, beaches, waterparks, and other such family venues, water, kids and electricity don’t mix well. Also be wary of any product like a sticker that will get destroyed when wet.
So, hopefully these are useful things to consider when selecting the appropriate safety products for your child. However, something is always better than nothing as long as it doesn’t replace your parental vigilance.
If you’d like more information about various products on the market, check out the audio and video seminars on CPLC's website. In those online formats, I discuss more specifically the pros and cons of the various available and future technologies and products.
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