I recently got a suggestion from a thoughtful father that grown ups should also wear bright colors in crowded places to help their own kids see them. He felt that in a crowd, little kids will see adults only from the waist down, it would be helpful to have the caregiver wear bright colored pants or something on their legs like a bandanna or ribbon that a child could see if the child was lost.
I do think this is a good idea and I would encourage it as long as parents also heed teh other Away From Home Tips. An adult wearing bright color clothes could help a small child keep an eye on their caregiver, however, a lost child often panics and won't remember to even look or remember what the caregiver is wearing. In addition, in a crowded place, where there are lots of legs to look at, its really important that in addition to visual clues like the clothes, kids are given a cell phone number to proactively contact the "lost" parent.
The reason I didn't include this good idea in the Away from Home Tips is that we try to suggest things that are practical and reasonable for every family to do. Wearing bright colored pants isn't hard but may not be practical in many circumstances for many people. So, please go for it if you can. But please be sure to at least do the following: give kids safe ID, all caregivers should carry a recent photo of the child, and dress the child in bright green or yellow.
Showing posts with label cell phone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cell phone. Show all posts
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Missing the Point
The words "lost" and "missing" are quite ambiguous when they pertain to children. "Lost" can mean being in an unknown place, a child who has died, or simply one that is confused. "Missing" can mean also being in an unknown place but it implies that there is a malicious reason why a child is gone, versus being innocently lost.
Children go"missing" for numerous reasons - they run away, they are abducted, or they get hurt (accidentally or otherwise) and can't get back to where they are expected to be due to the injury. Perhaps they have a broken leg or are in too much pain to move from where they are to where they should be.
Children get "lost" for a number of reasons as well. They can wander off led by their curiosity only realizing afterwards that they can't find their caregiver. Some kids think running away or hiding in a public place is funny and they will giggle while under a rack watching mom scream hysterically trying to find them. These situations are innocent and are often caused because we don't usually teach our kids that getting lost is a bad behavior - as much as crossing the street without looking or not washing after using the bathroom.
Older kids can find themselves lost in other ways. The first week of school every year generates dozens of stories of kids getting on or off the wrong school bus. It is quite common and the fact is that if the child gets off the bus in the wrong neighborhood, it is quite scary to both child and the parent. Just imagine standing there expecting your child to come off the bus and he/she doesn't. Its almost too scary to even think about. With all the newness of school and most likely a new bus route, it is a common situation, however. Even if the child notifies the bus driver before disembarking that they are not in the right place, the bus drivers often have no way of notifying a parent or other person until they complete their route.
Its also common that a child will be waiting to be picked up after an an activity like a music lesson or other individual class. There are all kinds of reasons why the child may be waiting longer than a few moments expecting the parent - traffic, car problems, or even because mom's watch stopped and she hasn't realized that it is actually an hour later. Meanwhile, the patient child is alone and in risk of all kinds of harm.
So with such ambiguity in the words themselves, it is no wonder parents don't always respond to the concept of lost child prevention. Not only might they be in denial that it could happen to them, but they rarely think about the numerous ways that their precious child might be separated from them accidentally and how easily they can put cell phone information on their children.
So do a good deed. explain this to another parent and tell them to be best prepared by reading our "Away from Home Safety Tips". Easier than putting a car seat belt on, keep your kids safe anytime they are away from home and might need to find you!
Children go"missing" for numerous reasons - they run away, they are abducted, or they get hurt (accidentally or otherwise) and can't get back to where they are expected to be due to the injury. Perhaps they have a broken leg or are in too much pain to move from where they are to where they should be.
Children get "lost" for a number of reasons as well. They can wander off led by their curiosity only realizing afterwards that they can't find their caregiver. Some kids think running away or hiding in a public place is funny and they will giggle while under a rack watching mom scream hysterically trying to find them. These situations are innocent and are often caused because we don't usually teach our kids that getting lost is a bad behavior - as much as crossing the street without looking or not washing after using the bathroom.
Older kids can find themselves lost in other ways. The first week of school every year generates dozens of stories of kids getting on or off the wrong school bus. It is quite common and the fact is that if the child gets off the bus in the wrong neighborhood, it is quite scary to both child and the parent. Just imagine standing there expecting your child to come off the bus and he/she doesn't. Its almost too scary to even think about. With all the newness of school and most likely a new bus route, it is a common situation, however. Even if the child notifies the bus driver before disembarking that they are not in the right place, the bus drivers often have no way of notifying a parent or other person until they complete their route.
Its also common that a child will be waiting to be picked up after an an activity like a music lesson or other individual class. There are all kinds of reasons why the child may be waiting longer than a few moments expecting the parent - traffic, car problems, or even because mom's watch stopped and she hasn't realized that it is actually an hour later. Meanwhile, the patient child is alone and in risk of all kinds of harm.
So with such ambiguity in the words themselves, it is no wonder parents don't always respond to the concept of lost child prevention. Not only might they be in denial that it could happen to them, but they rarely think about the numerous ways that their precious child might be separated from them accidentally and how easily they can put cell phone information on their children.
So do a good deed. explain this to another parent and tell them to be best prepared by reading our "Away from Home Safety Tips". Easier than putting a car seat belt on, keep your kids safe anytime they are away from home and might need to find you!
Sunday, April 1, 2007
From Lost to Lunatic
Speaking of stupid pet tricks (see previous post)...ever see a screaming, hysterical parent who has just found their lost child? The parent yells things like, "Don't you ever do that again", "Why can't you remember to stay near me?"!
While other parents look on in horror thinking to themselves, "What a shameful sight. I would NEVER do that!", we all know this scenario is all too common. Its the release of our anxiety from losing the child. Women and men do this and often they do it knowing it was probably their own fault for losing the child in the first place. Maybe a little displacement of guilt - ironic as they stand there being judged by their screaming which only let's their otherwise unsuspicious surrounding audience know that they had lost their child.
So while we stand and scorn, not only is the screaming parent making a fool of his/herself, but the poor child is being humiliated in public. As if this might not in itself cause major psychological trauma, the next time that child is accidentally lost (yes, most kids get lost more than once), the child will probably consider the consequences of being found - that is, being publicly humiliated again. Isn't it better to stay lost than to be found and have mom or dad scream at you again? I'd choose to stay lost.
Next time if this happens to you and you are about to unleash a whirlwind of verbal relief on your child, try to hold back. Remember screaming and displacing blame and anxiety isn't the answer - in fact, it could be the cause of a further negative consequence.
While other parents look on in horror thinking to themselves, "What a shameful sight. I would NEVER do that!", we all know this scenario is all too common. Its the release of our anxiety from losing the child. Women and men do this and often they do it knowing it was probably their own fault for losing the child in the first place. Maybe a little displacement of guilt - ironic as they stand there being judged by their screaming which only let's their otherwise unsuspicious surrounding audience know that they had lost their child.
So while we stand and scorn, not only is the screaming parent making a fool of his/herself, but the poor child is being humiliated in public. As if this might not in itself cause major psychological trauma, the next time that child is accidentally lost (yes, most kids get lost more than once), the child will probably consider the consequences of being found - that is, being publicly humiliated again. Isn't it better to stay lost than to be found and have mom or dad scream at you again? I'd choose to stay lost.
Next time if this happens to you and you are about to unleash a whirlwind of verbal relief on your child, try to hold back. Remember screaming and displacing blame and anxiety isn't the answer - in fact, it could be the cause of a further negative consequence.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Stupid Parent Tricks
If you think about it, there are so many things parents do that are counter intuitive and can actually harm their children. For example, telling a young child to remember a meeting spot in a big, foreign place. A lot of these practices are outdated and simply don’t make sense given that we now know better and have better tools to use. Another parenting myth is telling your kid never to talk with strangers. I wonder how many more kids will have to die hiding because rescue workers pass them by since the child is afraid to ask for help.
I invite you to read the article I published on “Don’t talk to strangers and other parenting myths” - I think it will open your eyes wide to things we learned to do as parents and never considered how silly they seem in this day and age. As always, feedback is welcomed!
I invite you to read the article I published on “Don’t talk to strangers and other parenting myths” - I think it will open your eyes wide to things we learned to do as parents and never considered how silly they seem in this day and age. As always, feedback is welcomed!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Safe Safety
Today I got a call from yet another company trying to address the lost child market. Like many others, this company intends well but didn’t think through some pretty significant issues which as a parent, make me very concerned.
So, when you are seeing safety products, particularly in the lost child area, please consider the following issues:
1. Is the product child-friendly?
No safety product is going to help if the child doesn’t use it. No matter how good the product is technically, if the child finds it ugly, uncomfortable, uncool, or just boring, it won’t work. The key to keeping kids safe is having their buy-in which includes giving them the knowledge and the right products to use.
2. Can the child use it?
Remember, that even a smart, confident child will panic when they are lost. Something like a bracelet or hidden label may be hard to operate and a child will most likely forget about it during a crisis. Plus, a stranger may not know to look for the information and you definitely don’t want them undressing your child to find it. Make sure the ID is really easy to spot and can be retrieved from the child without the child’s help or without the need to touch the child.
3. What happens if the product is lost?
Kids lose things all the time - me too! Child ID and location products are no different and they can fall off or break off. If that happens, it won’t help the child, but in fact, it can hurt the child. For example, if the product is a bracelet with home phone information, whoever finds it can reverse look up your address and track down the child - not good.
So consider what could happen if the product was lost and found by a bad stranger. Be sure you are comfortable with that implication. As I often tell people who are interested in Wander Wear, if some weirdo finds my son’s Parent Locator Tag and calls my cell phone repeatably, the worst case is that I can ignore/block the calls or change my cell phone number relatively easily. However, if I use my home phone or other information that helps someone find my house, that is not an acceptable risk.
4. No batteries required
Batteries or anything that requires a charge can fail. When your child is lost, you don’t want to worry whether there is enough power in the device. If you have trouble keeping your cell phone charged, consider if you can reliably charge yet another device and remember to take it with you every time you are out with the kids. The device can’t help find your kids if you are out and the device is no charged or accidentally left at home in its charging base.
5. Waterproof
At places like the Boston Children’s Museum in Boston and of course amusement parks, beaches, waterparks, and other such family venues, water, kids and electricity don’t mix well. Also be wary of any product like a sticker that will get destroyed when wet.
So, hopefully these are useful things to consider when selecting the appropriate safety products for your child. However, something is always better than nothing as long as it doesn’t replace your parental vigilance.
If you’d like more information about various products on the market, check out the audio and video seminars on CPLC's website. In those online formats, I discuss more specifically the pros and cons of the various available and future technologies and products.
So, when you are seeing safety products, particularly in the lost child area, please consider the following issues:
1. Is the product child-friendly?
No safety product is going to help if the child doesn’t use it. No matter how good the product is technically, if the child finds it ugly, uncomfortable, uncool, or just boring, it won’t work. The key to keeping kids safe is having their buy-in which includes giving them the knowledge and the right products to use.
2. Can the child use it?
Remember, that even a smart, confident child will panic when they are lost. Something like a bracelet or hidden label may be hard to operate and a child will most likely forget about it during a crisis. Plus, a stranger may not know to look for the information and you definitely don’t want them undressing your child to find it. Make sure the ID is really easy to spot and can be retrieved from the child without the child’s help or without the need to touch the child.
3. What happens if the product is lost?
Kids lose things all the time - me too! Child ID and location products are no different and they can fall off or break off. If that happens, it won’t help the child, but in fact, it can hurt the child. For example, if the product is a bracelet with home phone information, whoever finds it can reverse look up your address and track down the child - not good.
So consider what could happen if the product was lost and found by a bad stranger. Be sure you are comfortable with that implication. As I often tell people who are interested in Wander Wear, if some weirdo finds my son’s Parent Locator Tag and calls my cell phone repeatably, the worst case is that I can ignore/block the calls or change my cell phone number relatively easily. However, if I use my home phone or other information that helps someone find my house, that is not an acceptable risk.
4. No batteries required
Batteries or anything that requires a charge can fail. When your child is lost, you don’t want to worry whether there is enough power in the device. If you have trouble keeping your cell phone charged, consider if you can reliably charge yet another device and remember to take it with you every time you are out with the kids. The device can’t help find your kids if you are out and the device is no charged or accidentally left at home in its charging base.
5. Waterproof
At places like the Boston Children’s Museum in Boston and of course amusement parks, beaches, waterparks, and other such family venues, water, kids and electricity don’t mix well. Also be wary of any product like a sticker that will get destroyed when wet.
So, hopefully these are useful things to consider when selecting the appropriate safety products for your child. However, something is always better than nothing as long as it doesn’t replace your parental vigilance.
If you’d like more information about various products on the market, check out the audio and video seminars on CPLC's website. In those online formats, I discuss more specifically the pros and cons of the various available and future technologies and products.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Lose Your Luggage, Not Your Kids!
Its so strange to me that we put ID on our luggage, but not our kids. How easy would it be to pull someone’s bag off the airport carousel, learn about that person from their underwear and other personal effects…and then see their address clearly labeled on the bag so you could go there to find more interesting goodies? Meanwhile, we don’t put a single form of ID on our kids who are much more likely to wander off than any piece of luggage I’ve encountered.
In today’s world, we hesitate to do this as we think someone is going to find our child and …bring them back home. Hmmm…is that a bad thing. Well, it can be if we are looking for your toddler in the mall having lost them and some stranger takes them back to your house. However, rather than put an address, how about putting a cell phone number only? The best scenarios is a stranger calls you to tell you to pick up your lost child quickly wherever they are. The worst case is the number is lost or taken and subsequently, you get a lot of unwanted calls on your cell phone. Lost child versus calls I can screen out…why are we so ID-ignorant?
People get freaked out about putting ID on their kids because they are told not to broadcast a child’s name to a potential predator. If you ever talked with a police officer at length, you know a predator doesn’t need the child’s name to harm them. That also goes for ID with the child’s address. Not only doesn’t a child predator typically care where that child lives, but there are much easier ways to find that out. When was the last time you looked in your rear-view mirror to see if anyone tailed you from the supermarket. I doubt it…I doubt you do that and I doubt it happens…but it could. Its like putting extra locks on your doors only to have a thief break a window to get in. Another false sense of security…if they want your child, they will get to them, ID or not.
However, if you child is accidentally lost and needs some help, having a cell phone number on them is hugely beneficial. Your child can then ask for help and get it, without being moved or touched.
Pets can wander off and don’t have the ability to find their way home…so we put ID on them. You probably carry ID when you go out and even our electronic gadgets usually have information that will assist someone else returning lost items back to me safely. However, the most precious thing - our kids - also need ID when we go out away from home. In case they get lost, I want them to have the best chances of being found quickly and safely.
In today’s world, we hesitate to do this as we think someone is going to find our child and …bring them back home. Hmmm…is that a bad thing. Well, it can be if we are looking for your toddler in the mall having lost them and some stranger takes them back to your house. However, rather than put an address, how about putting a cell phone number only? The best scenarios is a stranger calls you to tell you to pick up your lost child quickly wherever they are. The worst case is the number is lost or taken and subsequently, you get a lot of unwanted calls on your cell phone. Lost child versus calls I can screen out…why are we so ID-ignorant?
People get freaked out about putting ID on their kids because they are told not to broadcast a child’s name to a potential predator. If you ever talked with a police officer at length, you know a predator doesn’t need the child’s name to harm them. That also goes for ID with the child’s address. Not only doesn’t a child predator typically care where that child lives, but there are much easier ways to find that out. When was the last time you looked in your rear-view mirror to see if anyone tailed you from the supermarket. I doubt it…I doubt you do that and I doubt it happens…but it could. Its like putting extra locks on your doors only to have a thief break a window to get in. Another false sense of security…if they want your child, they will get to them, ID or not.
However, if you child is accidentally lost and needs some help, having a cell phone number on them is hugely beneficial. Your child can then ask for help and get it, without being moved or touched.
Pets can wander off and don’t have the ability to find their way home…so we put ID on them. You probably carry ID when you go out and even our electronic gadgets usually have information that will assist someone else returning lost items back to me safely. However, the most precious thing - our kids - also need ID when we go out away from home. In case they get lost, I want them to have the best chances of being found quickly and safely.
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